Disenchanted lives

Our phone buzzes with texts and whats app messages all day
Catching-up and how-are-you-calls far and few in between
When did we start getting lazy about relationships?

We pay huge bills at restaurants knowing we are overpaying
But do not donate not believing if "it will reach the right place"
When did we start misplacing our principles?

We dream of exploring places and seeing people far off
Having no clue of who lives next door...
When did we become more pretentious and less curious?

We were fascinated when one told us they travelled abroad
We now envy the updates and photographs on social networks
When did other's joy start making us feel bad about ourselves?

'Fights' were only in parks playing those fun games
Kins now threaten each other and go to the courts
Why did the fights grow even as issues got pettier?

Life is busier now and times have really changed
We are aware and life goes on, we say...
But how did we let ourselves be indifferent to this change?

Tangy Tuesday Picks @ Blog Adda

...Let the reason be love

And here's another post on marriage. No fascination for this topic but can't help it - this is the wedding season. There are invites, lots of them -- from neighbours, friends, relatives etc etc for ring ceremony, wedding ceremony, after wedding ceremony etc etc.

Weddings are good fun. You get to dress up nicely and eat your heart out at the host's expenses (which by the way is a lot these days given everyone's obsession with wasting money...a separate post on that later)...and then criticise the feast too!

Pic: http://www.123rf.com

Anyway, I was talking about the wedding invites. Almost all of them say the host would like your blessings "as the couple enters the bond of marriage continuing their journey of love and companionship". Now that sounds very sweet and all but how many of such couples you know actually share that companionship? With every invite I get very curious about knowing the story behind "Will you marry me?".

I am not seeing all of them with the same glass but something about most of them saddens me. I am not against marriage per se. But I am pro it only for the right reasons. I accord great significance to reason. I have met very few couples who say they want to be with each other and marriage is only incidental. Half the pairs I know decided to marry because they were 'ready-to-be-married' years old and there was pressure from both families. Or because of the pressure they chose the person since it's known risks are better than stepping in unknown waters! After a relationship of 6-7 years, given a choice, they'd rather not be together but being together is better than going for an arranged marriage. In certain cases, one of them doesn't want to hurt the other and gets into the marriage for the sake of so many years spent together. His/her heart may belong elsewhere but this 'seems the right thing to do'. Marriage for the sake of it, in short. What happened to love? When and why did people stop caring about the love and companionship the wedding invites glitteringly talk of?

The marriages happen anyway. There's a honeymoon period. And then what follows is the most predictable part of the story. Boredom. No prizes for guessing the solution the not-at-all-in-love-but-what-can-we-do couple thinks of....and is advised so by everyone around. A baby, of course. I almost burnt my tongue and my eyes almost popped out when, while having coffee, a friend of mine (about 26 years old) said this: "In arranged marriage it's still okay since the couple needs time to understand each other, but in love marriage the couple should definitely have kids within a couple of years since boredom starts setting in."
Reproduce life just because you are bored of each other? Very amusing! That about explains the size of population in our country. The ability to reproduce life is a miracle in its own right. It's unfortunate it is belittled as an excuse to kill boredom. Poor child comes into the world with such a huge burden of entertaining his/her parents. And s/he grows up to see them and their relationship completely out of love, together only for his/her sake.

Does it sound too quixotic to say that people should marry for right reasons: true companionship and love (whatever the word means)? And bring a new life into the world only to let him/her grow in that peace. Sure, boredom could rather would still set in. But how about putting efforts in reproducing/recreating that bond instead?

Mr Love V/s Mr Arranged

Read it as an act where 'Love' and 'Arranged' are two characters: 

(Narrator):
This is the story of Love and Arranged, who were about to get estranged

Over a fight between the brothers on who was better than the other;

Who, of the two, had the greater finesse…to make marriage a success?

The relationship was about to dent…as began the argument:

Love said: I must be better as to me everyone is so kind…

Arranged mocked: “Ha ha! Idiot that’s because you are blind!”

Love: Still, I am most important of all!

Arranged: Without me everything will fall

Love: With me comes ease and familiarity

Arranged: I bring newness and novelty

Love: I have tales, stories and history

Arranged: Yawn! Nothing like my mystery!

(Narrator):
…Adding to everyone’s confusion, the debate went on without any conclusion.

Irked by all the noise, an old man then advised: “Separate the two, throw some challenges;

whoever survives, will be adjudged better”

Days went by…everyone could hear them both cry

Arranged suffered as he had no Love for company,

Love couldn’t do much without Arranged’s philosophy.

The old main then called them both and said
it isn’t a question of who is better

It’s about your principles working together;
a marriage will have a happy end

If there’s some arrangement in the story of love,
and love in the whole arrangement!

This is my second entry for the contest 'Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage!' on IndiBlogger in collaboration with Sony Entertainment Channel. Check out the facebook page of the serial 'Love Marriage ya Arranged Marraige' here (www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.)

Marriage: Love ya Arranged?

Marriage toh hai ek suicide

How does it matter what you decide!

Love ho ya ho arranged

Rishta toh yeh hai bilkul strange.

Change ho jaati hai life

When a couple becomes husband and wife.  

Hoti hai jab jab dono ke beech takrar

Window ke baahar jaata hai sara pyaar

Har argument ka ek hi hota hai sach:

“Huh, you have changed so much!”

Arranged marriage mein bas hota nahi comparison

Baki sab kuch hai same, nothing different

Haan gaaliyan padti hai uss source ko

Jisne milwaya tha inn dono ko…

“Had I known, I’d have never got married to you”:

Har fight ke baad this statement stands true!

Love ho jaye ya milwaye koi matrimony site

Dono hi case mein there is risk and fight

Jab consequence dono ka hai same

Toh kya koi mujhe batayega…

Ki iss debate ka kya hai aakhir fayda?

(Only that if you like this poem and vote

Mujhe prize mein kuch toh mil jayega!)

Jokes apart, let me be a little wise 

Raasta koi bhi ho, remember:

Marriage is a bittersweet compromise!

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is an entry for the contest 'Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage!' on IndiBlogger in collaboration with Sony Entertainment Channel.  If you think it's worth it please vote here. Check out the facebook page of the serial 'Love Marriage ya Arranged Marraige' here (www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.)

You Sang To Me

Nothing could have prepared her for this moment. This was it. Finally.

She has been dreaming about it day and night. Combing her wavy tangled hair, standing in front of mirror, staring at the ceiling at 3 am, waiting patiently at bus stop -- she'd think of the best way to react to this one moment. Normally, eyes turn watery when you suddenly receive something you've been carving for, she thought. May be laughing away to glory and resting her burdened head on his shoulder was a better way to express? How about pretending that what she was seeing in his eyes was totally unexpected? huh...she'd often smile or sheepishly slap and force herself back to work.

Her wait was over. He was back after 2 long years and still longer 8 months. It would not have been so had she not discovered, soon after he left, a void impossible to fill. She wasn't aware but perhaps, he had been doing so for the 2 years they knew each other. Not that she saw him and spoke to him everyday. But he was there...always.

He walked in wearing a big smile and a white check shirt, blue jeans and shoes, complementing his tall, well-built body. A personality pleasantly different from what she had last seen.

She never thought he had flattering looks. But then she had never looked at him flatteringly ever. He was always there...somewhere. A good friend of hers, like many others.

That was then. And this was now. She had seen 'it' at last. They were always meant for each other. So what if it took some time for her to realize that. She couldn't take her eyes off him, as the smile on her face and drops in her eyes grew bigger.


"Wow, you look beautiful," she thought he'd say.

"Hey gorgeous! missed ya so much," he said in a disturbingly friendly voice.

Pointing towards her he continued, "This is my life..." pointing to the woman standing besides her he added "...and she'll soon be my wife." She heard him laugh...so loud that she had to let out a cry.

Nothing could have prepared her for this moment either. This was it, finally... Or was it?

Should she win her love back? Can you really win love? May be it was just not meant to be...

Relationships.....

This one comes after a long time. I blame it all on laziness and lack of time management. Getting sentimental on my relationship with this blog I force myself not to let it feel neglected any more. And I gave it a new look. Simultaneously as I flipped pages of a diary lying on the table, I chanced upon an old piece of paper that reads as follows:

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings and weaknesses or when she does something wrong.

Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wofe and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunateky, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.



Note ends...and so does one of the glorious days when I feel largely blind.....