"How to be happy"

"I will be happy when......"
"My life will be sorted when....."


If you had time bound answers to complete the above mentioned sentences, chances are you shall never be "happy". "When I get a job", "When I get a promotion", "When I get iPhone", "When I buy a house" are the common ones we've heard. Ridiculous is "When my daughter/son gets married". And one that wins hands down in the competition of most ridiculous ideas ever is "when we have a baby" (mostly in cases where couples aren't too happy with each other and think a child will fill the void. Ha. Ha.)

Happiness is not a destination you are aiming to reach. (I know, we have heard the sentences so many times that our state of mind has now become immune to the statement.)

Google search suggests "happy" when you type "how to be...". It amazed me. There are 1,980,000,000 results for it including pages like "11 step guide on how to be happy", "tips to find contentment", "be happier" and so on. How I wish happiness could be "found" by looking for it on the Internet. Clearly, a lot of people hope so.

So some of us seek help in removing cobwebs, we have built in our lives, on the web; others look for it in liquor bottles. Some of us search malls and shops (and call it retail therapy). Some binge. Some meditate. They try. Some give up and cry. Some give up and die.

The larger issue, I think, is that we have made ourselves believe that 'happiness' is an antonym to 'problems' in our life. It is not! Opposite of problem is solution. Problems 'make us feel' sad or unhappy. How much unhappy we allow them to 'make us feel' is or should be upon us. Shouldn't it? Chocolates, beer, new dresses or iPad help, I admit. But only in temporarily clearing your head, perhaps. Real happiness, strangely, is already in our heads. May be we shall find it when we complete the sentence "I will be happy...." with "when I decide." Preached Leo Tolstoy: "If you want to be happy, be."

And I shall be happy if you comment on this blog with your thoughts on happiness :)

Magic of Monsoon

Monsoon is best enjoyed with a cup of coffee in hand in a quiet corner near a window. I am sitting near this huge window in my house which allows me to be a spectator to the whole drama nature puts up before it starts to rain. It's like foreplay or a precursor to a grand theatre...a build up to something magnificent. First grey clouds cover up the lazy monsoon sun. Then there is an invisible choreographer who guides the plants, leaves and tress to dance and rhythmically move to music we all can't hear. Or it just dies down in the noises of city life. The noises increase as people rush to reach 'somewhere' before it starts raining. Cars speed up. Motorcyclists are in a rush. People can be seen running. But nature doesn't care. Like a focused actor performing on stage, it goes on. It can only hear the secret music. Clouds cast a shadow. It gets dark, darker, darker.... Trees sway in celebration. The sound of the breeze is pleasant. And then - pitter, patter, pitter, patter drops fall....sometimes slowly and sometimes like they are on a mission. You are left wanting for more, sometimes. You are dreading the potholes, blocked sewer, puddles, et al.

Nature, of course, doesn't care. Birds are chirping. There must a peacock dancing somewhere in the jungles. Fresh flowers must have bloomed. Mountains that were barren when I visited them in March must be lush green now. What can be more beautiful time than this to please your senses. This is one of the very few times when I don't feel like packing my bags and going somewhere. I'm simply happy being here and admiring nature as a mere spectator. 

What's the plan?

It was all perfect. As per my plans. Ideal profile, job description to my liking, convenient job location, and all the other details. It hardly felt like work and I did not have any Monday blues. It's true. Yes, may be it was too good to be true. But it was. 

It was all playing well.. until recently when as though someone just hit the pause button. Abruptly as it happened, it just caught me unaware. Anxious, I pass my day talking to people on phone, meeting some and sending emails. Despite all the efforts there isn't much I can do than just wait. 

Meanwhile, a restless and thirsty earth and an anticipating, humid air have been awaiting rains. The clouds look promising just like some voices I hear around. I plan to go for a evening walk. Talking to a friend and telling her about my situation I am just saying that all my plans have just gone awry, when my mom gestures to take a look outside. 

courtesy: http://fwallpapers.com

It has started raining. Drop by drop the entire veranda is now wet. The leaves and flowers in our little garden are almost dancing to the tunes of the falling water. It's raining. Heavily. I hang up, abruptly and stand under the open sky to allow it to drench me. Soaked completely, I feel real joy. It's a carefree moment, which suddenly makes me feel ... free. 

Don't get me wrong; I of course experience joy when I get my salary or when an assignment is well done but that moment was something else. It's a reminder of the importance of living the moment; of being there with the experience. I, of course, couldn't go for the planned walk and had hot pakore instead. 

As I sip some hot tea along with, I'm smiling at the moment that just reaffirmed the thought that "when you're busy making plans, there's someone sitting above simply laughing at those".... 

Goodbye June Moon

It's half-past 2010. Did half the year pass too soon? Or is the second half coming a little slow? I am not sure. There were days, in this year, that I wouldn't want to remember; there are days I would never forget. I managed traveling as per my plans. Scotland happened this very year. But I am still far away from most of the resolutions I made at the twilight of 2009...and I'd say it's the afternoon of 2010 now.

The morning of this year was fine -- promising and fresh. Would say it's been a chirpy morning. I am not an afternoon person. Little wonder then, this phase of the year, doesn't seem very bright to me. But I am hopeful of a pleasant evening for 2010.

The summer of '10 seems to be knowing no end. It's been awefully hot this year...and doesn't look like rain gods are in a mood for mercy anytime soon. Although, we were blessed with the sight of some grey clouds today...but I feel they (the rain gods) are just humouring us.

FB and other social networking sites have become an integral part of lives this year. Twitter updates have landed people in mess. FB updates tell you more about your near ones than their real presence themselves. Consider this: I took a week off from work but did not put any updates since I wanted to cut myself off in that week. When I came back, a colleague was surprised to know about my break. When I asked him that did he not notice my absence from office...his prompt reply was: "No...because there weren't any updates on FB".

Of course, this part of 2010 is immortal...thanks to FIFA World Cup. "When I get older I will be stronger" and "Waka Waka" are melodious remembrances of 2010!

There's lot more...but I'd now rather see the June moon fading away...marking the end of fabulous two quarters. Hello July! I smell a new beginning...

Pic courtesy: Anuj Sharma

How real is your virtual personality?

Can you judge a person from her/his writing? Does this blog give you an estimation of my real personality? Is it possible to have a separate real and virtual personality?

I was amused, yet another time, when an acquaintance announced his verdict about my personality purely on the basis of my style of writing. We haven't met ever or spoken much. I was more amused when another acquaintance made a much bigger claim on my emotional being through my blogs.

Ridiculous...I thought. But I don't discard the observations completely and I wonder

how much can this blog say about me. Does it convey my real world personality or am I subjected to being judged by my virtual one reflected through this space? Can these be different at all? If not, then how come Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes...was not a great rational personality himself. He believed in fairy tales and occultism.

Sure, the recurring themes can say about the way you think. And I agree, it is difficult to keep 'yourself' completely apart even if you are writing a fictional piece. But how good is this the indicator of your entire personality or character?

Handwriting does tell a lot to a large extent. The logic there is that your 'ego' is active when you are writing though the degree varies. But a writer might be taking a refuge in his/her style of writing. It's like purposely having a different virtual personality. Being something you are not to the real world. Isn't that the reason 'cool_gal', 'handsome_boy' or 'crazy_xyz' very common email ids...especially of people who have totally contrasting characters otherwise?

It'd be fun to analyze fellow bloggers and get a check on the observation! :)

I, Me, Myself...

"I wasn't running... I was walking;
I wasn't yelling... I was only talking
Speaking out my mind-
Nothing wrong in that
And anyway I am always right!


I am the king/queen of universe
Hear from me the rule of thumb
World's a big bad place to live
Louder you shout, the mightier you become

SHOUT & SCREAM at the drop of a hat
And let 'em hear you loud
Or who would know of your presence
And how will your battles be fought??

Intensity is very important
So maintain a frown on your face
Ridicule others if you please but
Smiling is a sign of disgrace.

Trust no one here there's malice in one and all...
Even if you can't climb the success ladder
At least you can make the other fall
Fight. That's what you were born for

To win, see everything in black & white
There's nothing called essential goodness of mankind.
Mark my words -- there's nothing wrong in this
Anyway I am always right!..."


P.S.: This poem is a satire on what I am currently seeing around (in a place full of people full of themselves!). Inflated egos, uproars n shouts, blame games and long complain mails...Okay we are not living in a Gandhian era so a humble meek is not what you can be but is this (above poem) a success mantra really? If yes, I want you to define success please... Peace out and take a deep breath! World's not such a horrible place to be in ;)

pic courtesy: Deviant Art

Give me Red

Why is my blog red?
It's not angry or aggressive. It just got bored of the darkness, black represents. Sure, the mystery and power of black is an attraction, but for time being red is the way to be. (Shall get back to black but not yet.)

It is the colour of passion, energy, life and strength. And not to forget it is one of the hues that make dawn what it is...

Culturally, Red represents prosperity. It's what brides wear. Vermilion (sindur) is red implying fertility and strength! It amuses me to mention a sharp ironic metaphor within the land that uses the colour to imply auspiciousness. There is a village in Rajasthan where abortion and sex-determination are 'officially illegal'. Some smart doctors, however, carry on sonography and let the patient know the result in secret code. A signature in red ink means "it's a girl"! Obviously it represents danger...more like a stop light at a traffic signal. Grrr... Anyway, it means its a feminine shade :)

Another interesting fact about Red. If you were in Sweden and were to attend a wedding, do not wear red unless...you have slept with the groom (and wish to announce that to the world just on his wedding day!)

Of course, it is an erotic colour. I mean think of red nails, lips...lady in red.
But think of love...red roses, red wine under red dusk sky...

Words

'Hmm' is a lazy word

'Haha' is a pleasant word

'Always' & 'Forever' are cheat words

'Boohoo' is word looking for sympathy

'Ohk' is a tired word

'LoL' is a word forcibly made happy

'Mist' is a pure word

'What' is a demanding word

'Chuckling' is a mischievous word



Note: If this makes any sense to you and you feel words have characterstics then feel free to contribute to the list. Btw 'free' is a ......