"How to be happy"

"I will be happy when......"
"My life will be sorted when....."


If you had time bound answers to complete the above mentioned sentences, chances are you shall never be "happy". "When I get a job", "When I get a promotion", "When I get iPhone", "When I buy a house" are the common ones we've heard. Ridiculous is "When my daughter/son gets married". And one that wins hands down in the competition of most ridiculous ideas ever is "when we have a baby" (mostly in cases where couples aren't too happy with each other and think a child will fill the void. Ha. Ha.)

Happiness is not a destination you are aiming to reach. (I know, we have heard the sentences so many times that our state of mind has now become immune to the statement.)

Google search suggests "happy" when you type "how to be...". It amazed me. There are 1,980,000,000 results for it including pages like "11 step guide on how to be happy", "tips to find contentment", "be happier" and so on. How I wish happiness could be "found" by looking for it on the Internet. Clearly, a lot of people hope so.

So some of us seek help in removing cobwebs, we have built in our lives, on the web; others look for it in liquor bottles. Some of us search malls and shops (and call it retail therapy). Some binge. Some meditate. They try. Some give up and cry. Some give up and die.

The larger issue, I think, is that we have made ourselves believe that 'happiness' is an antonym to 'problems' in our life. It is not! Opposite of problem is solution. Problems 'make us feel' sad or unhappy. How much unhappy we allow them to 'make us feel' is or should be upon us. Shouldn't it? Chocolates, beer, new dresses or iPad help, I admit. But only in temporarily clearing your head, perhaps. Real happiness, strangely, is already in our heads. May be we shall find it when we complete the sentence "I will be happy...." with "when I decide." Preached Leo Tolstoy: "If you want to be happy, be."

And I shall be happy if you comment on this blog with your thoughts on happiness :)

Disenchanted lives

Our phone buzzes with texts and whats app messages all day
Catching-up and how-are-you-calls far and few in between
When did we start getting lazy about relationships?

We pay huge bills at restaurants knowing we are overpaying
But do not donate not believing if "it will reach the right place"
When did we start misplacing our principles?

We dream of exploring places and seeing people far off
Having no clue of who lives next door...
When did we become more pretentious and less curious?

We were fascinated when one told us they travelled abroad
We now envy the updates and photographs on social networks
When did other's joy start making us feel bad about ourselves?

'Fights' were only in parks playing those fun games
Kins now threaten each other and go to the courts
Why did the fights grow even as issues got pettier?

Life is busier now and times have really changed
We are aware and life goes on, we say...
But how did we let ourselves be indifferent to this change?

Tangy Tuesday Picks @ Blog Adda

What's the plan?

It was all perfect. As per my plans. Ideal profile, job description to my liking, convenient job location, and all the other details. It hardly felt like work and I did not have any Monday blues. It's true. Yes, may be it was too good to be true. But it was. 

It was all playing well.. until recently when as though someone just hit the pause button. Abruptly as it happened, it just caught me unaware. Anxious, I pass my day talking to people on phone, meeting some and sending emails. Despite all the efforts there isn't much I can do than just wait. 

Meanwhile, a restless and thirsty earth and an anticipating, humid air have been awaiting rains. The clouds look promising just like some voices I hear around. I plan to go for a evening walk. Talking to a friend and telling her about my situation I am just saying that all my plans have just gone awry, when my mom gestures to take a look outside. 

courtesy: http://fwallpapers.com

It has started raining. Drop by drop the entire veranda is now wet. The leaves and flowers in our little garden are almost dancing to the tunes of the falling water. It's raining. Heavily. I hang up, abruptly and stand under the open sky to allow it to drench me. Soaked completely, I feel real joy. It's a carefree moment, which suddenly makes me feel ... free. 

Don't get me wrong; I of course experience joy when I get my salary or when an assignment is well done but that moment was something else. It's a reminder of the importance of living the moment; of being there with the experience. I, of course, couldn't go for the planned walk and had hot pakore instead. 

As I sip some hot tea along with, I'm smiling at the moment that just reaffirmed the thought that "when you're busy making plans, there's someone sitting above simply laughing at those".... 

Hazaron Khwaheishen Aisi...

Kaash ek kamra aisa hota...
Darwaza uska ek baag me khulta
Wahan pareshani ke photo par haar hota
Aur Haste rehna zaroori hota...
Sapno ki hawa behti
Khushiyon ki ek almaari hoti --
Har roz ek nikal ke odhni hoti
Gulaab ke foolon ka bistar hota
Sapne poore karne ka remote hota
Aur dukh ka andar aana mana hota
Kaash ek kamra aisa hota...
Kaash usi ka naam zindagi hota

Feels like...

Feels like submitting the blank History paper in 1999
Nothing was correct...nothing was fine
I had no answers; questions were unknown
With no confidence in me I had fears galore.

Feels like losing the debate competition in 2001
Gave up the fight even before it had begun
I had nothing to say; it was not stage fright
Only my timidity had gained more might.

Feels like first heartbreak I had in 2003
Lost all the faith I had in me
Nothing was grey, nothing was right
I saw everything in black n white.

Feels like many such moments in many many years
Living with hundreds of baseless fears
And I smile...
Feels like nothing more can go wrong
Everything will be just all right

The history paper was filled after all,
Several fights were won...
First love was not the last
Many hearts were broken later
But also many lessons were learned

In my journey so far...
Smiled at some fears, some in me still stay
But feels like success is just some steps away



"The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help are you freed."
Buddha

Lights, sounds and blasts

Unlike beer and bread, Wine was discovered 'accidentally'- by a Persian lady. A Persian woman tired of her life attempted to poison herself by eating content of a jar labeled 'poison'. She became intoxicated and fell asleep. She opened her eyes later to find that the stress she bore for years had gone and she felt light and happy. The jar was full of spoiled grapes. It is said that in Persia even now wine is sometimes called the "zeher-i-khoosh," i.e., pleasant poison.

The discovered the fact minutes before serial blasts shocked and scared Delhi on Sept 13th. It was narrated through a dance play -- And Then They Came to India --by Mallika Sarabhai and her group Darpana. The play in 45-minutes talks about the Parsi community and events leading to their migration from Persia to India after the Arab invasion. Apart from the wine discovery, one of the landmark events included in the narration was the birth of Zarathustra, the founding father of Zoroastrianism.

Though I found the concept interesting, i would admit I expected a lot more from the group. Mallika was the sutradhar dressed as a spinning dervish. That created a nice impact on the entire play. Undoubtedly, the events were beautifully visualised and the choreography was commendable but there could have been a better choice of events. While some of them were very gripping, there were moments when one lost interest. Sure, it is difficult to summarise the rich Persian history but I am sure there are many more facts that could have the evening more interesting.

I Liked the costumes -- they were rich and vibrant. Lighting was interesting. It was mellow. Music gave the 'parsi' feel. I loved the end part when the tribe mixes with the Gujarati community, adopts things like saree style and a few customs and finally 'arrives' in India. Peace, joy, happiness were the words that came to my mind when, uncannily, just then I received a message saying "Whre r u? Rush home...there hv been serial blasts in delhi killing several ppl...."

To meet and part...

This was some summers ago...
When bright was the sun of love,
I were you and he was me.
We peaced by the shadowy tree.
The shadow shadowed my illusions
And blinded me away from real.
They were untrue to me...
You have lying eyes.

For the mom'nt was to last forever,
They told me, but
Were you or is Time a great prankster?
I cried. I wailed. I prayed
To get back that summer sun
Vain. You were to never return.

And this is some summers hence...
You are me and I am he
Life has taken a full circle and,
Tables have turned around for me
Trust, it's easy to be indifferent
There was no love
Only the sun had shone bright
But fault is not yours
Fault is not mine...

It happened to you
Cause it happened to me
Some may call it revenge
For others it is..destiny...

Life's a destination-less journey...

Misty, Mysterious, Surreal - My life better be an enigmatic experience rather than a planned journey through the roads of pragmatism.
Few lives are lived as dreams; rest are spent attempting to make some illusionary dreams come true.....
~Purva~

Caged under the Open Sky

The truth to me is not unknown
Cobwebs in my mind are my own
My own rules confine me
Many notions blind me
I refuse to see the sky you do
I do not fly like you...
No, no bars cage me
Only inhibitions bind me

...But that is how I was meant to be

I say this is what I am --
With no wishes to fly
You say I am nothing but
Caged under the open sky....

Relationships.....

This one comes after a long time. I blame it all on laziness and lack of time management. Getting sentimental on my relationship with this blog I force myself not to let it feel neglected any more. And I gave it a new look. Simultaneously as I flipped pages of a diary lying on the table, I chanced upon an old piece of paper that reads as follows:

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings and weaknesses or when she does something wrong.

Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wofe and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunateky, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.



Note ends...and so does one of the glorious days when I feel largely blind.....

There is not much time cannot erase......

It can destroy huge mountains, can melt massive glaciers, it can make garlands of strong relationships, it can rust a lustrous metal and a decade old bond….it has the power to heal the gravest wounds…it is, perhaps, the most powerful. Time.

“Leave it on time,” they say. And time does take care of everything. Without any rules though. Things change. People change. Circumstances change….because time changes. There is nothing you can do.

Things will change. People will change. Circumstances will change. Because TIME will change. And it will alter several deifinitions. It will re-define relationships. It will bring with it numerous new experiences and embed the old ones as memories in our hearts. Some will be cherished and some.......better forgotten...

There is nothing time will not touch. It will - fade the best pair of your jeans; darken the silver jewellery you spent hours buying; turn the laptop you brought from your first salary into a piece of wreck; make people forget the recognition you received.....the mirror that shows a young and energetic you, will change show a wrinkled, frowning and tired you.......

But. It will also-- turn the sapling you planted in your garden into a frutiful tree, improve the taste of wine your friend gifted you and the flavour of friendship too, make space for a new pair of jeans in your new cupboard, it will revamp several relationship and bring with it several new suns.......

Happy Living!

Rambling

Sometimes life looks so beautiful that I feel like embracing it

and sometimes it looks so beautiful that I feel like just staring at it and letting it pass by......

Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end.......

~Says Nelly Furtado~

Says me too! I am getting senti as one of the best phases in my life has reached the dusk stage...The sun that rose on January 4, 2007 had set on July 4, 2007 but myriad colours had still managed to keep the sky beautiful. The colours too have faded now..... It seems to be the darkest hour of the.....

(Okay let me come to the point before it gets too dramatic and abstract)

Times School of Journalism (The Times of India) welcomed its fourth batch on 4 January, 2007. It was a scary day. On the very first day we were loaded with four fat books and assignments(now that I am writing I noticed there are too many fours involved....could that possibly signify anything??).



Anyways, as days passed earth seemed to be spinning faster on its axis. Hours passed in the blink of an eye. Day turned into night in no time. Number of assignments seemed to be having competition with the rising sensex. Sleeping hours reduc....wait a minute what??? sleeping....it is sheer wastage of time. Being insomniac is such a bliss....gives you a lot more time to plan the assignments and crib about them.....yeah cribbing about the work load soon becomes enjoyable. Isn't it? There was a phase when we had forgotten the days of the week. The only form of answer to "Kal kya hai?" was Radio journalism assignment, Suparna mam's presentation, book presentation etc etc

We soon learnt to laugh at it. Faces that had the grace of a royal palace now looked as inelegant as the slums in Dharavi. But we (including all the girls) learnt to live with it. The joy of dressing up gracefully was replaced with the gratification of stealing a few moments from the oh-so-busy-routine.

In those stolen moments we tried to catch up with the scraps waiting for us on orkut. Those moments were reserved for absolutely unimportant mails in our inbox, for the calls unattended as we were busy sleeping...no no..attending lectures, for sitting and gossiping at the RDB spot, for going down for a cup of coffee, for going to the canteen only to hear there is nothing left for us, for preparing for channel presentations and play, for active and passive smoking, for preparing for the next lecture, for planning to bunk the lecture, surviving some harmless pranks, and laughing.......

Saturdays were the best days. Did not have assignments on saturdays. Few moments of the afternoon were dedicated to 'relaxation dancing' by two great dancers. Then a movie in Film, Art & Theatre class. After a heavily hectic week, we considered it our right to enjoy saturday evenings....those were spent mostly in CP or deciding where to go and ultimately landing in CP......Ah those evenings in Central Park, in pubs n discs, on footpath, in Mac Donalds, in Janpath, in and outside American Center......And every evening when did not mind walking an extra mile to eat or at least get the aroma of Pao Bhaji, have ice cream full of fruits n nuts (just for Rs 10, bhuttas and quick bites at the bakery...

Sundays passed by in pending assignments and with wikipedia preparing for book presentation the next day.

Six months passed with such a routine. The routine gifted us the stamina to remain awake almost all night (and catch up with sleep in clas..shhhh); meet deadlines; think of excuses for entering late in classes; ability to --deal with biasness and prejudices (only TSJ students will understand this), make presentations without preparation and live an unpredictable life.

It gave us some invaluable friends and time we'd cherish forever...

Internship is putting us all in different locations. It's hard even to imagine to be living without seeing other 19 faces.... Sheesh...why do all good things come to an end?

Yeh Jo hai Zindagi....

This is the first time I am posting a poem in hindi...The essence was getting lost in English.



Coffee ke cup si mehakti hui
Baarish ki bundon si tapakti hui
Aur un bundon pe naachti patto si
Zindagi mili....acha laga

Ek bachche ke hoton pe baithi thi
Chhup rahi thi....
Maine dhyaan se dekha tab dikhi
Acha laga

So rahi thi chandni raat mein
Ek ped ke neeche
Us aasmaan mein chupte chand me nazar aayi
Acha laga

Beh rahi thi ek nadi si
Chupkar kai lehron mein
Un laheron ke beech
Jhaankti nazar aayi....
Acha laga

Natkhat hai...chalaak hai
Masoom hai par shaitan hai
Nikal jaati hai aksar yuhi
Zindagi......

Life: Definition Revisited

This thing called life through a wanderer's eyes....just a rambling



Life for me is an implausible dream…
It is certainly not what it always seems.

There are lessons to be learnt in every season...
Everything here happens for a reason.

Life for me is a melodious song
Dance to its tune till it is on.

Secret lies in understanding the purpose we have to serve
Perhaps, it is to exist with an unending verve!

Serendipity

"Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter." - Julius Comroe Jr.

Last week, I was given an assignment to write something about "Serendipity". Ah! writing a few words on serendipity should be very easy....I thought. I tried recollecting and quickly writing down one of the serendipitous moments in my life.

Several minutes passed. The paper was blank...indicating that there hasn’t been such a moment in my life ever! Of course that wasn’t true.

The limitation was not writing a few words; the constraint lied in the thought process.

I looked up for an exact definition of the word. It just might help. What I found out was this: Serendipity is the art of finding something unexpected while looking for something and realizing that what you've found suits your needs more than what you thought you were looking for.

Contemplating and reflecting upon my life I suddenly had an answer. What I discovered is that if I could sum up my life in 1 word that would indeed be "SERENDIPITY". Absolutely everything is serendipitous about it!! Each time I had been looking for something, I ended up getting something entirely different and eventually realized that I am fortunate to have found that.

Isn’t everyone’s life full of such moments? Each day brings with it something for us to discover. Something that is hidden and wonderful.. The art lies in acknowledging those discoveries!

Incidently, while I searched for the precise definition of the word I found out that serendipity is also a PHP-powered, flexible Blogging application. It would help me make my blog better.

…..And I was looking for one serendipitous moment!

Sometimes In Life

Ups and downs are a part of life,
Don't let them affect you in anyway
For life is a bouquet of miracles
Don't let it just slip away...
Appreciate the beauty in everyone
Enjoy the little moments of fun

Someday try to forget the stress
And share with a friend
The serenity of the rising sun
Everybody in life
Faces their moments of despair,
But in those moments
Don't forget that God hears each prayer
In those moments of sorrow
Don't let go the little moments of joy
Someday take time to relax
And stare the moonlight bathed sky
It may not solve your problems
But bring to you some peace of mind

Amidst those tears;
May be a little smile you'll find
Then keep up the faith and never quit
There is something positive
Even when you are hardest hit
Sometimes little things in life
Matter a lot
Things don't always happen
The way you had thought
Many times you'll fail in life
But never let the life fail you
Remember;
Sometimes adversities are sent
To bring out the best in you........


Published in Achieve!

She was denied a life....(Female foeticide)

Prabhuji mein tori binti karoon
Paiyan Paroon bar bar
Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Dije
Narak Dije Chahe Dar...

Oh, God, I beg of you,
I touch your feet time and again,
Next birth don't give me a daughter,
Give me Hell instead... --An old Folk Song From Uttar Pradesh

Female foeticide is an extreme manifestation of violence against women. Here I share my poem on the appalling practise of female foeticide.




From a few months,
Inside a woman's womb dwelled a little life.
lying there with tiny hands and her little feet,
she had just begun to breathe
With little lips she smiled,
She was looking forward to live a life.
as she lay there looking at the outside world so bright,
she had decided many things: in her tiny little mind......
inside whom she lay todayshe'll call that woman her 'mother'
from inside she could see her dad
also, she was to have an elder brother.
who would sometimes tease her away
she'll climb her father's shoulders
she'll play with her grandfather all day
She’ll play with dolls, her toys
And fiddle with daddy’s keys..
She’ll go to sleep
Listening to her granny’s lullabies.
she'll bring with her lot of joys n happiness
and would be showered with lot of love
she'll be treated like a princess
and like a little angel sent from above....
suddenly something happened
her little dreams were all shattered.
What did she just hear?
Why was her little heart was filled with fear?
All her imaginations
Were torn apart
How could a mother be so cruel?
How could a father take a decision so harsh?
Her existence wasn’t considered necessary
For being a part of the beautiful world…
perhaps all this was only,
Because she was to be a girl…
She started shouting and started yelling
She wanted to live-is what she was telling
But nobody heard; nobody cared
The silent screams of this unborn child
Were so easily muted
By the surgeon’s knife..
when even God had willed it...
why was the 'girl' denied of living a life?